20050430

Hyperspace, lots and lots of Space in Hyperspace

Hyperspace can be sooooooo boring. I mean, the distance between jump points is phenomenal. There's really not that much to do while you're stuck here.

Now I'm sure that the genius who thought putting a hyperdrive into the X-wing got a fat bonus from Incom. But I have to ask, did they ever actually flight test it with real people? Oh sure, it works well enough, but lets be honest here, this ship is really not made for the long haul.

There's only so much I can do while cooped up in here. The Alliance has drawn up a manual of "cockpit calisthenics" that is supposed to at least prevent some of the more serious side-effects of long duration hyperspace flight. You know, things like deep-vein thrombosis, bed sores, atrophy and the like. As I flip through the manual I do the ankle-rolls and the neck and shoulder rolls (both ways). But some of these have got to be a joke.

Page 32: "while reclining, pull your knees to your chest and extend legs up and back"

I mean get real gang! I can see it now: just as I'm doing this "vital exercise" the ship hits an unexpected gravity well and reverts next to a tour-cruiser packed with "family day" half-price ticket holders. While they're all crowded around the viewers I come floating by, ankles to ears, in my bright orange flight suit doing my "cockpit calisthenics". Talk about your bad dreams come true!

Sorry, but I'll suffer the occasional butt that falls asleep rather than risk that nightmare.

They could have at least put in a small holoprojector or something. I could stand some holos - even the old ones. Of course, what with R2 in back, I can do as much reading as I want. That little droid has tons of stuff in his databanks. But reading is so boring. I crave conversation, I crave the human touch. Heck, much more of this and I'll settle for anything to touch me. Sorry, that was uncalled for. Long and lonely trips can make a boy pretty randy if you catch my drift (if you think that was bad, though, you should hear how the spacers talk at a port like Mos Eisley).

I suppose that the time to think and collect my thoughts out here is good for me though. It's weird. I go from the only thing in my life that worries me is figuring out how to get the South Ridge condensers tuned and optimized to all of a sudden fighting the legitimate ruling authority in the galaxy in the span of, what, a couple of weeks? I mean, they're calling it a terrorist campaign. Me, Luke Skywalker, a terrorist. My Uncle would crap if he ever found out. Of course, that's what drove me to it - the way the troopers handled that whole droid fiasco. In a way, they brought it on themselves. They drew first blood.

So now I'm off, chasing ghosts, following voices in my head that no one else can hear. General Rikeen just about birthed a tauntaun when I told him I had to keep the ship for just a little while longer. I think he DID when I told him why. At least that's what it sounded like over the tight-beam.

It would be nice if Ben could hang around and chat (especially now - stang I'm bored) instead of popping in and out willy-nilly. I got to see him, though, last time. At least I think it was him. He kind of turned into Han but that was all right before I went to sleep.

Well, sleep is one thing not in short supply on this trip. I think I'll do some stretches and sleep (again).

20050429

Me Time

Most times events move so fast that I just get caught up in the flow. It's important to take "me" time to step back, reflect, and simply have time to re-order and make sense of all that has happened. I recommend this to my friends and other hangers-on.

You know the type. After Yavin I could hardly go to the 'fresher alone. There was always someone wanting me to tell them - sigh, again - how it happened (quickly), what was it like (scary!), why'd I switch off my targeting computer (I think I heard Ben tell me to - they always look at me queer when I tell them this), what'd I think about the fact that Solo came back (sweet, but was it really for the cause I wonder?), what was it like to get a medal from the Princess, yadda yadda yadda.

Though, I must tell you that, while I don't remember much about the whole award ceremony on Yavin, I do remember the deeeeeep plunge of the neckline on the Princess's gown. The guys get a kick out of that.

But my point is that, at times I feel like this crazy galaxy has caught me up in its hectic spin. I suppose that, in many ways, it has. Which is the reason why this kind of quiet time is important.

You know, droids still process information even after they power down. They re-sort and re-file and re-index the information in their electronic brains. It's supposed to help optimize performance and remove extraneous information - astrogation remainders and such. If they don't they pick up a "flutter". You know, the odd quirkiness or freeze in midaction of some of the older models. I think that if we don't stop and do the same thing from time to time, we risk picking up a flutter too.

To be perfectly honest, I'm a little bit worried about the voices I hear. During the whole Death Star thing, especially in the thick of the action, I could swear I heard Ben's voice. After the fact, I wrote it off as the stress and excitement of the time. I mean, I had barely tooled around the upper Tatooine atmosphere and then -BAM!- I was in one of the most advanced (and illegal) fightercraft ever built and bringing down one of the Empire's biggest capital investments of all time. Oh my head (as 3PO says), if that's not a mind-job then what is?

I've seen the 2-1B and it said everything was normal and that I just needed some down time. It suggested I write my thoughts down, so that's part of the reason for this. I've not told any of the other guys about the writing though, I think they'd find it, I don't know - girlish or something.

But Ben always told me to "reach out with my feelings" so here I am, reaching out, writing what I'm thinking as I journey through cold hyperspace, re-indexing my own thoughts and trying to purge that remainder, that phantom of you, Biggs.

I Miss Biggs

Sometimes I lay awake at night, staring at whatever is above me. Sometimes it's another bunk, on that frigid world, Hoth it was the white ceiling of ice/snow in my quarters (there was nothing that could keep you warm on that forsaken planet), now it's the deep blackness of space as seen through the transparasteel canopy of my X-wing.

I wonder if he's out there, somewhere. Biggs, I have to admit, I was pretty pissed when you left for the "academy" (we all knew you were headed off to find the Rebels). But, damnit, we were supposed to go together. I just wish I could have been there with you, to see it all. But you're gone.

You have no idea how incredible it was seeing him again on Yavin. It felt like old times. I mean, I was there with the Princess and everyone. (She is a hottie!) And after, what, several hours, Biggs had me mouthing off to GENERAL DODONNA! He had passed me a note with "tell him about the womp rats back home" scrawled on it, and like an outer rim hick, I fell for it. It was fun though. That's the way it always was. He'd think up trouble and I'd end up doing it. He'd always stick up for me though - when I was caught.

Good call on that "womp rat" line - buddy. Just like old times.

Stang, Biggs, I miss you.