Thoughts on The Efficacy of Jedi Lessons

R2 whistled me awake just a bit ago. I sat up too quickly and now I've got a drool pool that had collected in my collar seeping down my back. It itches. We're in-system and not a moment too soon.

I was going to have R2 jump us in to a point far enough away that I could fly manual for a while - but now, no way. It's all about getting down as fast as possible and cracking this canopy. I'll put in as few orbits as possible, query planetary nav-com to see if I can find out where this Yoda lives and if there's an open berth nearby, then land this smelly holster and clean up. That bath will feel soooooo good.

If I'm early enough, maybe I can catch a show. I need something to pick me up. I don't know what passes for cultural entertainment on that planet, but most space ports cater to common interests (don't worry, I've no plans to seek out those interests). Maybe they'll have some Jizz-Wailing or something (though, you know, most Jizz-Wailing gets stale after a while - all electro-pop and shiny-happy-people. After this trip I'm going to need something a bit darker, quieter, more depressing - to fit my mood. You ever get into that place where you just want to sit in the dark, listen to depressing music, close your eyes and fade away? That's my mood now)

Well, one more micro-jump to go, pilot on in and then...what then? I'll get "trained" I suppose. I know I told Ben that I wanted to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi but lately I've been having second thoughts. I mean, I'm not such a bad pilot. The Alliance is into me, the Princess is into me, Han and Chewie are cool. I could be happy. I was pretty distraught when I said that to Ben, I wasn't fully aware of my options.

But then "Old Shimmery" (it's what I've taken to calling the ghost of Ben when he appears) pops up when all I need is to be transported back to base, or at least a blanket or something, and commands (commands!) me to come all the way out here. Not even a "please Luke" or a "I've been thinking, it's time you got some education", or a "you ok kid? let me Force warm you, and by the way, there's this Master Jedi on Dagobah..." Nope. He was all somber and self-important "You will go to the Dagobah system...learn from Yoda - the Jedi master" who instructed him (yeah, for all the help that instruction was against that same wheezy, black, droid-wanna-be who offed my dad.) I've got a lesson for this Yoda - Lesson one: armor good, robes not so much.

Jumping now, be back soon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Luke, make absolutely sure you bring your weapons with you. You're definitely going to need them.

-- Darth Orson

Blogger L. Skywalker said...

Luke to Orson,

Come in Orson. Thanks for the tip. You must be really experienced. Next thing, you'll be telling me to put my landing gear down before touchdown.

sheesh - some people.

Anonymous Vork the Terrible said...

Dagobah. Just a name on my maps. There's not a lot of old places an old... repossession specialist like me hasn't been to at some point or another, so it must be a real armpit of a world. Y'know, the kind of place where the natives idea of a good time is pushing over herd animals.

Wouldn't expect too much out of fun from this visit, but at least there should be some clean water around. And nothing beats a bath when you're stinky.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Luke,watch out for little green flash light theives. I hear Dagoba is crawling with them!

first they'll try to steal your stuff, then they'll tell you that they can lead you to Yoda (Yoda's a pretty big celebrity down there most people who come to Dagoba are looking for him) then they'll invite you to there little home and feed you soup laced with date rape drugs. then you wake up out in the swamp, naked and with a raging case of warts. if you run into any of them you should cut them to pieces on sight.

Blogger L. Skywalker said...

Dear Anon -

Heads up for green theives - Check
Folks know of Yoda - Check
No soup = no warts - Check

Thanks for the heads up.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make sure you see your hotel room before you pay out any money. I hear those on Dagobah keep their places like a swamp.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

training must be rough...you haven't posted for days....missing you.....

Blogger L. Skywalker said...

Disaster after Crash after Strain after weirdos. Writing a big post soon to catch you all up. Lot's going on down here in this slimy mudhole.

Anonymous Kosh N. said...

My Young Jedi Learner;

You must stand between the darkness and the light to know the full scope of the universe. The Jedi and the Sith are both blind. You can not see what the other sees. Light and Dark are irreverent. But you do not understand.

There are three sides to a coin; the head, the tail, and the edge, only there you may see both sides. Just as the truth is a three edged sward; there is your side, their side and the truth.

Stand on the edge, in the middle, and you will see all.

This is not something that Ben or the other Jedi Masters ever taught you, nor is it something that the Sith Masters taught your father. Yoda is deaf to the orchestra; he won’t hear the melody in the cacophony, the same may be said of the emperor. They have lead you astray so that you can not see beyond the veil of what you believe you want to see.

Amb K. Nanerek

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