I Don't Mean to Whine, But...
I did my cockpit calisthenics and played Dejarik against myself for a bit (I think I’m getting better). But geez this is far. The cockpit stinks, I smell like a drunk jawa, and I think that the tube that passes for a ‘fresher in this ship has a kink. All right, sorry, you didn’t need to know that.
The fact is that Dagobah is farther out than I had thought and I’m ready to land this thing. This trip had better be worth it. Ben said that this Jedi master lives way out here. What gives? I mean do all Jedi have to be so, so, eccentric? Yeah, I know all the stories about the rise of the Emperor and the battles against the “Jedi council” – that was all part of the AWP (Alliance Welcome Packet) – that and this orange gundark suit. But that was ancient history. Now it’s all about restoring “freedom to the galaxy” and preventing “other star systems from suffering Alderaan’s fate”.
Turn on your tight-beam receptors all you remaining Jedi, it’s not about you anymore. It’s about commerce, trade, and bureaucracy. The Jedi pogrom is over. You don’t have to live out beyond the Dune Sea, or on the remotest of remote planets (and I thought Tatooine was the planet farthest from the bright center of the universe).
I think the Jedi who are left may be a bit full of themselves. I mean, if Ben had had enough common sense to realize that no one was hunting him, he could have contacted me earlier. Maybe then Owen and Beru would still be alive. If this Yoda even exists, he could at least come out and train me with the rest of the Alliance. Instead, I have to sit in this cramped, smelly cockpit and the Alliance has to lose a fighter. Argh. I’m feeling bitter, I know.
I’m going to go.
R2, are we there yet?